Absence

Absent charm, distrustful grin
ghosts of the past,
stil haunt this house,
forsaken place
damned you 525 times

Want to go away
to the Pacific Northwest
find a better air
to feel small
to remember you in the trees,
your sweet smile,
your warm hand on my arm
your tight grip again,
because it seems like fading away
again.

Can't help myself,
get stuck in the head,
stupid child
that wants to get out
and can't seem
to be put away
in the past

Love the smell of the trees,
always have,
love your cold body at night
love your soft skin
love your sweet inner child
ghosts also haunt your mind

No friends here,
no sincerity,
no honesty,
no transparency,
only fake smiles.

Except yours
it always shines
it always sings
and I can't hide
this enormous mountain
inside my heart
despite all the faults
the slips
the absence
the lack of you
this lava inside
still melts for you
for that image
that can't seem to disguise
and it trembles deep inside
angst...

White Dwarf

Yearning for better days,

a constant crescent of a smile,

by mere circumstance conditioned to let go,

to set free,

to leave a hollow heart,

an empty space once filled,

of trees, of crunching autumnal leaves,

of innocence laying on the grass,

of waxing smiles,

of constellations drawn in the sky.

The scent becomes faint,

of fresh lavender and pheromones,

fresh mint at dawn,

the paleness of the day,

reflects the image of the skin that still remains,

photocopied as synapses,

that linger in the mind,

and the gentle velvet feeling,

of mountains through the hands.

Hopeful landscapes filled with trees,

mountains, and blue skies,

of travel, of an intertwined freedom

dissipate in the abyss

of uncertainty and denial,

an opaque star,

that once fissioned with intensity,

might become a white dwarf.

O.N.

Dreams.

I dreamt last night.

I saw you sitting in front of me.

Gorgeous smile,

Captivating eyes,

A uniqueness of a kind.

Ah, the enchantment,

the heart learned to fly,

the sight saw light,

the mind flew with the wind.

Wonderful night,

you were late,

but I still had to wait,

the magic waited with me.

Overwhelmed was I,

seeing you in front of me,

about to depart,

we went to the park,

we listened to Philip Glass,

we walked while you talked about taxidermy,

feathers,

awkward kiss,

it took the night.

The walk was short,

the bench looked like a giant leaf,

we sat down,

we talked,

got close to each other,

we could not wait,

kisses on a starry night.

Driving back,

Felt like driving on clouds,

Learning to fly,

Pink Floyd along the ride,

When I got to bed,

While I slept,

High in the sky,

Through clouds,

You were flying away,

While I was up there, high above

in my mind.

All this I dreamed,

while intoxicated without alcohol,

pure emotion and thought,

adrenaline, dopamine, oxytocin,

upheaval in the brain,

touched by color in heart,

now I sit and write.

Te dejé la puerta abierta.

Te dejé la puerta abierta,
Para que entrarás y te sentarás en el sillón o la cama.

Te hice café en la mañana,
Abrí la ventana,
Porque sé que te agrada.

Pondré flores al frente de la casa,
De diversos colores,
Cómo tu mirada.

Dejé la cama lista con sábanas limpias,
También dejé ahí mis ganas.

Me sentaré en una silla,
Contemplaré la ventana blanca,
Pensaré en tu llegada,
Si será pronta o tardía,
Si traerás alegrías, quejas o fotografías.

Anhelaré un beso intenso,
Una sonrisa, una palabra sincera,
El roze de tus manos en mi cara.

Preguntaré si tienes hambre,
Si tienes sed, si quieres un vaso con agua. Si quieres ir a la cocina.

Más no puedo exigir que te quédes, aunque ésta es tu casa.
No puedo cortar tus alas,
Querrás volar todavía,
O quizá sólo es una infancia mal vivida.

Sin embargo yo te espero,
Aquí afuera en la banca,
Tengo el corazón abierto,
Al igual que la puerta de la casa.
Desde aquí estaré observando,
Con ancias esperaré tu llegada,
Para poder dormir tranquilo,
Por que sabré que ya estás en casa
Y la puerta siempre estará abierta,
Pero la cierras cuando salgas.

O.N.

Clouded

Clouded by emotions,
Easy to react,
Sensitivity is a handicap,
Flawed if seen from afar.

Like a storm they come,
They destroy, leave everything unsettled and behind,
Worries start to climb,
Rain begins to drop.

Clouds come in different colors,
White, gray, even black,
And so do emotions,
One must learn to adapt.

Clouded with a chance of rain from the eyes,
Clouded is the weather for tonight,
When will the day come with sunlight?
When will I see the bright stars?
When will I stop seeing clouds?
When will my rainbow shine?

Far away at sea,
Storms dwell,
They reside,
And yet they coexist
With the whales,
Biggest mammals on Earth,
Biggest heart.
Big their love for the sea, the mind.

Majestic creatures must survive,
The waves, the temper of the sea,
When at risk, they sink,
look for refuge deep inside.
Clouds will never scare them,
For they are strong willed,
Strong hearts.

Clouded is the sea,
Clouded is the mind,
Yet some whales dare to swim,
Dare to play with the sea,
They make love underneath the waves,
They are one with the sea,
But they never let the sea push them around.
If only the whales could see,
The clouds that obfuscate my sight,
Then the love between the sea and the whale,
Will be only calm.

O.N.

Touched by color.

Imagine a photograph.

Black and white.

Sad and pale.

Deep inside.

Touched by color,

It becomes alive

Primary colors take charge

Appears a smile.

Black and white seems to be sometimes,

But magical people see in color

Not just white and black.

Touched by color was I

When all seemed black

Or white.

Touched by colors

Of the brightest kind.

Touched by the color of kindness

My eyes began to feel

The different textures and richness 

Of such beautiful butterfly.

Touched by color was I

The day everything turned gray

Touched by color now seems uncertain

Black and white possess my mind.

Touched by color was my poem

On such a beautiful night

By kindness, when it turned into a gorgeous butterfly.

Now all I get to do is to watch her fly.

Touched by color was I,

Now everything seems black and white.

¡Esto es música, no chingaderas!